As human beings trying to survive, we are meant to set our priorities straight and on point. A little wobble here and there is acceptable and expected and that doesn’t make us lesser; for anything, it is meant to make us learn, teach us all a lesson.
Looking back and reviewing our lives in retrospect is necessary to appreciate where we came from, explore the wonders of the present, and to learn the blunders that will teach us the valued lessons we need to familiarize ourselves into an unknown future.
That, indeed, starts with a simple question…
Have you made a decision?
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I am pretty certain that all of us may have that moment when we decided to just listen to the blaring sound of an alarm we set the night prior. Lazily hearing the tune in a daze as if it lulls us back to dreamland. We may have pressed that snooze button a couple hundred times and drift back to slumber. Yet, some days, sleep is next to none and so we just await for that alarm to go off to officially wake up.
The selection of clothes we choose out from the dresser for a Monday engagenent may have an effect on the confidence we try so hard to compose, to face the world in accordance to what is left.
Or the moment when you decided to cry in front of a trusted companion, when there is so much pressure to bear inside that definitely needs decompression. Decision to show vulnerability to others requires not only courage but also transparency and authenticity.
We all have those times when we are trapped on which road to select — a familiar path of comfort or that less travelled pavement of opportunities. Adult choices ranges from the easiest option we could call escape, to those that are trivial and will trick us to the gamble that the universe could offer. The choice is ours to make and its repercussions are ours to take.
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Well, our lives are comprised of decisions we have to make. A lot of compromise, winning, losing. Across the different stages of life, we made them countless times. We may have done it meticulously—planned, on blueprint, careful with timelines and checklists. Or we may have made some in a snap of a finger, a pressured decision, careless.
Nonetheless, these decisions are decisions. We learned from them, experienced the real, vast world we live in, and to top it off, we became humans.
Three reminders—from my own perspectives as a flawed human—whenever we try to decide on something at some point in our lives.
1. Listen and be kind. Spare extra second to listen to your thoughts about the aftermath. While there are times that you need to make quick resolves, it is important to patiently wait and listen to those productive internal dialogues to ease that conflict from your nutshell. That way, you’ll have to make a decision that is kind enough for your own sake.
2. Watch for red flags. Address the patterns and tell tale signs and mismatching behaviors, and piece by piece, try to create a bigger picture of what it is there to be seen. They may mean so much more if you could just look keenly, listen with empathy and then try to consciously replace them with positive views, so you will manage to arrive at a decision that will be beneficial.
3. Remember: it is normal to get caught in the middle. Let us normalize that as adults, we stumble in our pursuit of stability. Our lives are not perfectly plotted, we are bombarded with challenges that makes us, us. The strength of will and the firmness of our purpose are what makes us determined to be decisive. However, indecisiveness is just lurking ‘round your little, darkened corner—and it is perfectly fine. So if you are trapped in the middle, look side ways for a while and adjust your focus, straight ahead.
Fellow flawed human beings, decide for your own gain. We are allowed to listen, to consider others’ thoughts, but the choice is yours and yours alone.
Yours.
Shades and Hues 